The killing of the Midianite Children (Num 31:17-18)

The killing of the Midianite Children (Num 31:17-18).

This is what one angry skeptic wrote to me about the killing of the Midianite children:-

He also showed that he cared for the Isrealites. Here's what he told them they could get from the Midianites:

17 Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man,
18 but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
Numbers 31:17-18.

Here the Israelites are allowed to take Midianite virgins as sexual plunder. I guess God didn't care much for the Midianites, though. Don't try to play the "But the Midianites were sinful people!" because you know that, according to scripture, you deserve to die as much as the Midianites do. But you're going to be hard pressed to find scripture that supports being turned into slave-whores as just punishment for sin.

By the way, the "boys" in verse 17 are children. Here god doesn't just ignore the murder of children; he orders it.

Glenn Miller has already given some useful background info:

See also Glenn Miller's latest, and more detailed, piece on What about God’s cruelty against the Midianites?

For my summary go here

Now I want to look at this episode in Numbers 31. The goodness and severity of God is always a troubling issue, even for the Christian (Rom 11:22). While most Christians know the goodness of God when they became Christians, the later discovery of the severity of God can come as a shock.

There are a number of questions here:

Did God order the killing of the boys?
Were the Midianite virgins taken as sexual plunder to be used as "slave-whores"
Was the killing of the Midianite women unjustified

As we shall see the answer is no to all three.

First the background info to the Numbers 31 incident.

The Midianites where half brothers to the Israelites for they descended from Midian son of Keturah Abraham's second wife (Gen 25:1-4). Moses lived in Midian for forty years and married a daughter of Midianite priest Jethro (Exo 2:15ff). Later after the exodus from Egypt Jethro visited Moses in the desert and advises Moses to delegate responsibility for judging disputes (Exo 18:1ff). Jethro and Moses got along well and Jethro was pleased to hear about all the good things that the Lord had done for Israel.

(Exo 18:9-12 NIV) Jethro was delighted to hear about all the good things the LORD had done for Israel in rescuing them from the hand of the Egyptians. {10} He said, "Praise be to the LORD, who rescued you from the hand of the Egyptians and of Pharaoh, and who rescued the people from the hand of the Egyptians. {11} Now I know that the LORD is greater than all other gods, for he did this to those who had treated Israel arrogantly." {12} Then Jethro, Moses' father-in-law, brought a burnt offering and other sacrifices to God, and Aaron came with all the elders of Israel to eat bread with Moses' father-in-law in the presence of God.

Moses asks Jethro's son to be their guide in the desert and offers to share the good things that God does (Num 10:29-32). Up to now everything is going well between the Israelites and the Midianites. The Israelites were no threat to the Midianites as they just wanted to pass through the land (Num 21:22).

What went wrong?

We get the start of the answer in Num 22:4

The leaders of the Midianites join with the Moabites to pay Balaam to curse God's people.

(Num 22:4-7 NIV) The Moabites said to the elders of Midian, "This horde is going to lick up everything around us, as an ox licks up the grass of the field." So Balak son of Zippor, who was king of Moab at that time, {5} sent messengers to summon Balaam son of Beor, who was at Pethor, near the River, in his native land. Balak said: "A people has come out of Egypt; they cover the face of the land and have settled next to me. {6} Now come and put a curse on these people, because they are too powerful for me. Perhaps then I will be able to defeat them and drive them out of the country. For I know that those you bless are blessed, and those you curse are cursed." {7} The elders of Moab and Midian left, taking with them the fee for divination. When they came to Balaam, they told him what Balak had said.

Further we learn in Josh 13:21 that the Midianite chiefs were princes, who had allied themselves with the Amorites, who had fought with Israel earlier and were defeated (Num 21:21). The Israelites were no threat to the Midianites since they were only passing through. The real threat was to the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites (Exo 3:8). However the Midianites had joined themselves to the Amorites who had good reason to fear God, the Israelites had already defeated Sihon king of the Amorites, the Midianites were stupid enough to join themselves to the (already) defeated Amorites.

(Josh 13:21 NIV) --all the towns on the plateau and the entire realm of Sihon king of the Amorites, who ruled at Heshbon. Moses had defeated him and the Midianite chiefs, Evi, Rekem, Zur, Hur and Reba--princes allied with Sihon--who lived in that country.

(Num 21:21-23 NIV) Israel sent messengers to say to Sihon king of the Amorites: {22} "Let us pass through your country. We will not turn aside into any field or vineyard, or drink water from any well. We will travel along the king's highway until we have passed through your territory." {23} But Sihon would not let Israel pass through his territory. He mustered his entire army and marched out into the desert against Israel. When he reached Jahaz, he fought with Israel.

Four times Balak, king of Moab, tries to pay Balaam to curse Israel but four times Balaam pronounced a blessing.

Num 22:12 But God said to Balaam, "Do not go with them. You must not put a curse on those people, because they are blessed."

(Num 23:7-10 NIV) Then Balaam uttered his oracle: "Balak brought me from Aram, the king of Moab from the eastern mountains. 'Come,' he said, 'curse Jacob for me; come, denounce Israel.' {8} How can I curse those whom God has not cursed? How can I denounce those whom the LORD has not denounced? {9} From the rocky peaks I see them, from the heights I view them. I see a people who live apart and do not consider themselves one of the nations. {10} Who can count the dust of Jacob or number the fourth part of Israel? Let me die the death of the righteous, and may my end be like theirs!"

(Num 23:18-24 NIV) Then he uttered his oracle: "Arise, Balak, and listen; hear me, son of Zippor. {19} God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? {20} I have received a command to bless; he has blessed, and I cannot change it. {21} "No misfortune is seen in Jacob, no misery observed in Israel. The LORD their God is with them; the shout of the King is among them. {22} God brought them out of Egypt; they have the strength of a wild ox. {23} There is no sorcery against Jacob, no divination against Israel. It will now be said of Jacob and of Israel, 'See what God has done!' {24} The people rise like a lioness; they rouse themselves like a lion that does not rest till he devours his prey and drinks the blood of his victims."

(Num 24:2-9 NIV) When Balaam looked out and saw Israel encamped tribe by tribe, the Spirit of God came upon him {3} and he uttered his oracle: "The oracle of Balaam son of Beor, the oracle of one whose eye sees clearly, {4} the oracle of one who hears the words of God, who sees a vision from the Almighty, who falls prostrate, and whose eyes are opened: {5} "How beautiful are your tents, O Jacob, your dwelling places, O Israel! {6} "Like valleys they spread out, like gardens beside a river, like aloes planted by the LORD, like cedars beside the waters. {7} Water will flow from their buckets; their seed will have abundant water. "Their king will be greater than Agag; their kingdom will be exalted. {8} "God brought them out of Egypt; they have the strength of a wild ox. They devour hostile nations and break their bones in pieces; with their arrows they pierce them. {9} Like a lion they crouch and lie down, like a lioness--who dares to rouse them? "May those who bless you be blessed and those who curse you be cursed!"

The story ends up with Balak and Balaam going their own separate ways, but do they?

(Num 24:25 NIV) Then Balaam got up and returned home and Balak went his own way.

The Baal Peor incident:

Just as in the golden calf incident (Exo 32:35) the Lord judged his people with plague when they indulged in sexual immorality and became idolatrous. It is evident from verses 6 and 15 that a high ranking Midianite woman was also involved in this affair (Cozbi daughter of Zur, a tribal chief). What is significant about this incident is that 40 years earlier, as they came out of Egypt, the people bowed down to the golden calf. Here we find their children, 40 years later, just as they are about to enter the promised land, bowing down to foreign gods.

(Num 25 NIV) While Israel was staying in Shittim, the men began to indulge in sexual immorality with Moabite women, {2} who invited them to the sacrifices to their gods. The people ate and bowed down before these gods. {3} So Israel joined in worshiping the Baal of Peor. And the Lord's anger burned against them. {4} The LORD said to Moses, "Take all the leaders of these people, kill them and expose them in broad daylight before the LORD, so that the Lord's fierce anger may turn away from Israel." {5} So Moses said to Israel's judges, "Each of you must put to death those of your men who have joined in worshiping the Baal of Peor." {6} Then an Israelite man brought to his family a Midianite woman right before the eyes of Moses and the whole assembly of Israel while they were weeping at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting. {7} When Phinehas son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron, the priest, saw this, he left the assembly, took a spear in his hand {8} and followed the Israelite into the tent. He drove the spear through both of them--through the Israelite and into the woman's body. Then the plague against the Israelites was stopped; {9} but those who died in the plague numbered 24,000. {10} The LORD said to Moses, {11} "Phinehas son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron, the priest, has turned my anger away from the Israelites; for he was as zealous as I am for my honor among them, so that in my zeal I did not put an end to them. {12} Therefore tell him I am making my covenant of peace with him. {13} He and his descendants will have a covenant of a lasting priesthood, because he was zealous for the honor of his God and made atonement for the Israelites." {14} The name of the Israelite who was killed with the Midianite woman was Zimri son of Salu, the leader of a Simeonite family. {15} And the name of the Midianite woman who was put to death was Cozbi daughter of Zur, a tribal chief of a Midianite family.

This was a major event in the life of Israel as the following verses show.

(Deu 4:2-4 NIV) Do not add to what I command you and do not subtract from it, but keep the commands of the LORD your God that I give you. {3} You saw with your own eyes what the LORD did at Baal Peor. The LORD your God destroyed from among you everyone who followed the Baal of Peor, {4} but all of you who held fast to the LORD your God are still alive today.

Josh 22:17 Was not the sin of Peor enough for us? Up to this very day we have not cleansed ourselves from that sin, even though a plague fell on the community of the LORD!

(Psa 106:28-31 NIV) They yoked themselves to the Baal of Peor and ate sacrifices offered to lifeless gods; {29} they provoked the LORD to anger by their wicked deeds, and a plague broke out among them. {30} But Phinehas stood up and intervened, and the plague was checked. {31} This was credited to him as righteousness for endless generations to come.

(Hosea 9:10 NIV) "When I found Israel, it was like finding grapes in the desert; when I saw your fathers, it was like seeing the early fruit on the fig tree. But when they came to Baal Peor, they consecrated themselves to that shameful idol and became as vile as the thing they loved.

The NT comment on this is also rather interesting (Rev 2:14). Even though God had promised blessings to His people through Balaam, Balaam knew that if God's people sinned then God would have to judge them. Thus Balaam taught Balak to entice (seduce) the people into idolatry and sexual immorality. 2 Pet 2:15 comments that Balaam loved the wages of wickedness. The point is that Balaam was offered money by Balak to put a curse on God's people, he saw that God would only bless his people, but he loved money so much that he taught Balak how to get God's people to sin by enticing them with the Midianite women, then God would have to judge his people. It is significant that Balaam was listed along with the five kings of Midian as being killed (Num 31:8 ).

(Rev 2:14 NIV) Nevertheless, I have a few things against you: You have people there who hold to the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to entice the Israelites to sin by eating food sacrificed to idols and by committing sexual immorality.

The bible is clear that judgement begins with God's own people (1 Pet 4:17), but woe to those who cause the sin in the first place (Mat 18:7).

The EBC comments on this incident are enlightening:

So we now come to the ultimate rebellion of Israel in the desert. The time is the end of the forty-year period of their desert experience. The place is the staging area for the conquest of the land of Canaan. The issue is that of apostasy from the Lord by participation in the debased, sexually centered Canaanite religious rites of Baal worship--that which would become the bane of Israel's experience in the land. This chapter is an end and a beginning. It marks the end of the first generation; it also points to the beginning of a whole new series of wicked acts that will finally lead to Israel's punishment (see comments on 33:50-56). All the rebellions up to this point described in the Book of Numbers have centered in murmurings against the Lord and against his servants Moses and Aaron. The people have provoked the anger of the Lord by grumbling about water and food and by refusing to believe that he was able to deliver on his promise to bring them into the land of Canaan. But this chapter is unique in the record of the experience of Israel in their move from Sinai to Moab--it describes their involvement in the worship of another deity.

In a sense this chapter matches the grim account of Israel's involvement in the pagan rites of the worship of the golden calf at the base of Sinai (Exod 32). The apostasy of Israel in their flagrant worship of the golden calf points back to Egypt. The golden calf was a symbol of the Egyptian bull-god Apis, likely referred to in Jeremiah 46:15 (see EBC, 6:652). Apis was the sacred bull in Egypt, the incarnation of Osiris, the principal deity of Egypt. Exodus 32:6 reads, "So the next day the people rose early and sacrificed burnt offerings and presented fellowship offerings. Afterward they sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in revelry." The verb translated "to indulge in revelry" (lesaheq Piel infinitive construct of sahaq; meaning "to laugh" in the Qal--the word that forms the base for the name "Isaac") sometimes speaks of sexual involvement. It is a euphemism for "caressing" in sexual play (as in Gen 26:8). So in this chapter Israel engages in sexual acts of the worship of a god of Canaan.

So bad was the rebellion of the people in worshipping Baal, that God ordered the Israelite leaders to be killed and their bodies to be displayed as a warning to the survivors. They had broken the covenant with the Lord, they had violated the second and seventh commandments.

(Deu 5:9-10 NIV) You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, {10} but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.

(Deu 5:18 NIV) "You shall not commit adultery.

This required the death penalty, they were well aware of the Law which had been given 40 years earlier. They were the generation of children who had to wander through the desert for forty years because their fathers refused to enter the promised land.

(Num 14:33-35 NIV) Your children will be shepherds here for forty years, suffering for your unfaithfulness, until the last of your bodies lies in the desert. {34} For forty years--one year for each of the forty days you explored the land--you will suffer for your sins and know what it is like to have me against you.' {35} I, the LORD, have spoken, and I will surely do these things to this whole wicked community, which has banded together against me. They will meet their end in this desert; here they will die."

Now they were repeating the "golden calf" incident 40 years earlier, just as they were about to enter the promised land.

(Deu 17:2-5 NIV) If a man or woman living among you in one of the towns the LORD gives you is found doing evil in the eyes of the LORD your God in violation of his covenant, {3} and contrary to my command has worshiped other gods, bowing down to them or to the sun or the moon or the stars of the sky, {4} and this has been brought to your attention, then you must investigate it thoroughly. If it is true and it has been proved that this detestable thing has been done in Israel, {5} take the man or woman who has done this evil deed to your city gate and stone that person to death.

(Deu 8:18-20 NIV) But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today. {19} If you ever forget the LORD your God and follow other gods and worship and bow down to them, I testify against you today that you will surely be destroyed. {20} Like the nations the LORD destroyed before you, so you will be destroyed for not obeying the LORD your God.

(Deu 29:24-26 NIV) All the nations will ask: "Why has the LORD done this to this land? Why this fierce, burning anger?" {25} And the answer will be: "It is because this people abandoned the covenant of the LORD, the God of their fathers, the covenant he made with them when he brought them out of Egypt. {26} They went off and worshiped other gods and bowed down to them, gods they did not know, gods he had not given them.

As the people were weeping in front of the tent of the meeting, because of God's judgement upon them, an Israelite man brought to his family a Midianite woman right before the eyes of Moses and the whole assembly of Israel. Showing contempt for the holy things and the word of the Lord. We are also told that the name of the Midianite woman was Cozbi daughter of Zur, a tribal chief of a Midianite family (v15) she was from a high ranking family, possibly a priestess. Moses words in 31:15-16 would indicate that not just one woman was involved but the whole community of women.

(Num 31:15-16 NIV) "Have you allowed all the women to live?" he asked them. {16} "They were the ones who followed Balaam's advice and were the means of turning the Israelites away from the LORD in what happened at Peor, so that a plague struck the Lord's people.

The Lord tells Moses to treat the Midianites as enemies:

Because of this incident the Lord told Moses to treat the Midianites as enemies and to kill them because they had treated the Israelites as enemies (Num 25:16). The Midianites brought God's judgment upon themselves because of what they did. They deceived God's people into sexual immorality and idolatry. They should have known better, they had previously had good relations with the Israelites, they were related, they had seen how God got them out of Egypt, they knew of God's intention to bless Israel. Yet they joined themselves to the enemies of the Israelites.

{Num 25:16} The LORD said to Moses, {17} "Treat the Midianites as enemies and kill them, {18} because they treated you as enemies when they deceived you in the affair of Peor and their sister Cozbi, the daughter of a Midianite leader, the woman who was killed when the plague came as a result of Peor."

Further in Num 31:1 God tells Moses to take vengeance on the Midianites.

(Num 31:1-4 NIV) The LORD said to Moses, {2} "Take vengeance on the Midianites for the Israelites. After that, you will be gathered to your people." {3} So Moses said to the people, "Arm some of your men to go to war against the Midianites and to carry out the Lord's vengeance on them. {4} Send into battle a thousand men from each of the tribes of Israel."

The Lord tells Moses to treat the Midianites as enemies and to kill them (Num 25:17), and to carry out the Lord's vengeance against them (Num 31:3).

One question to ask is whether Moses extended God's order to include the killing of the women and boys as well as the men? The soldiers certainly thought that only the men should be killed, they are rebuked by Moses, for not killing the woman. We should note that there is no mention that God disproved of Moses action, it is therefore probably reasonable to infer that God approved of Moses actions. It was the Lord's vengeance they were carrying out.

Even Jesus came to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God. We are living in the year of the Lord's favour, but there will be a day of vengeance in the future.

(Isa 61:2 NIV) to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,

On vengeance see also Glenn Miller's piece on God is Wrathful, Vengeful, Jealous, and Angry every day--and you want me to have a relationship with Him?!

So the 12,000 soldiers kill every man, and the five kings of Midian and capture the Midianite woman and children, herds, flocks and goods as plunder, they also killed Balaam who taught Balak to entice the Israelites to sin. The soldiers understood the Lord's command, to "take vengeance", to include only the Midianite men. Why kill the men, if only the women were involved in the immorality and seduction of the Israelite men? Because the Midianite leaders had joined themselves to Israel's enemies (see Num 22:4, 7 and Jos 13:21). The five kings of Midian listed here (31:8), Evi, Rekem, Zur, Hur and Reba are the same five who had allied themselves to Sihon king of the Amorites (Jos 13:21), who would not let the Israelites pass along the King's Highway which went through his territory. Evidently not all the Midianites were killed because the Midianites crop up later (Judg 6:1).

{ Num 31:5} So twelve thousand men armed for battle, a thousand from each tribe, were supplied from the clans of Israel. {6} Moses sent them into battle, a thousand from each tribe, along with Phinehas son of Eleazar, the priest, who took with him articles from the sanctuary and the trumpets for signaling. {7} They fought against Midian, as the LORD commanded Moses, and killed every man. {8} Among their victims were Evi, Rekem, Zur, Hur and Reba--the five kings of Midian. They also killed Balaam son of Beor with the sword. {9} The Israelites captured the Midianite women and children and took all the Midianite herds, flocks and goods as plunder. {10} They burned all the towns where the Midianites had settled, as well as all their camps. {11} They took all the plunder and spoils, including the people and animals, {12} and brought the captives, spoils and plunder to Moses and Eleazar the priest and the Israelite assembly at their camp on the plains of Moab, by the Jordan across from Jericho.

The soldiers are content to kill just the men, however Moses thinks otherwise, because it was the women who were guilty in seducing the men into sexual immorality, so they had to be killed as well. This is not only vengeance, but it is to prevent a repetition in the future. It is clear from these verses, that not just one Midianite woman was involved. Moses has a clear reason for killing the non-virgin women, they were the ones who had seduced the Israelite men to commit sexual immorality and to worship Baal of Peor. Thus breaking their covenant with the Lord and provoking his judgement.

{Num 31:13} Moses, Eleazar the priest and all the leaders of the community went to meet them outside the camp. {14} Moses was angry with the officers of the army--the commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds--who returned from the battle. {15} "Have you allowed all the women to live?" he asked them. {16} "They were the ones who followed Balaam's advice and were the means of turning the Israelites away from the LORD in what happened at Peor, so that a plague struck the Lord's people.

The killing of the boys and non-virgin women:

So now we come to the verses that we do not like, Num 31:17-18.

{Num 31:17} Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, {18} but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.

So we have situation, all the men have been killed, and now the sexually active women (probably those over 12) had to be killed, because they had seduced the Israelites. Some of the women would be the mothers of the boys. Boys over 12 would be classed as fighting men and would have been already killed in the fight.

So we are left with about 64,000 children mostly 12 and under, we know that there were 32,000 women who had never slept with a man (Num 31:35). There are four choices:

Leave them all alive to die a slow death in the desert of hunger, thirst and wild animals, with the prospect of being made slaves by the Moabites or used for child sacrifice to their god Chemosh as was their practice. There is no one to look after the children and the towns were burnt (Num 31:10).

Kill them all.

Kill the boys and assimilate the virgin girls.

Assimilate all of them into the Israelite tribes. Then the boys would take vengeance upon the Israelites when they became men.

Moses chose option 3. Ultimately the boys suffered because of the stupidity of their leaders and parents.

As for the boys they would have died anyway because there would be no one to look after them. Given the option of a slow death from hunger and thirst, clearly God chose the merciful option of a quick death. All the cattle had been taken as booty. Had he allowed them to live among the Israelites they would take revenge later when they became men. If you're going to do the job do it right. The Moabites would probably have used the boys for child sacrifice (by fire) as was their practice.

The status of the women, whether married or unmarried would have been clear from the clothes and jewelry they wore, no special virginity test would be needed.

Were the girls taken into prostitution?

There is no evidence that the Israelites would have used the girls as prostitutes, the Law was against prostitution.

Lev 19:29 "'Do not degrade your daughter by making her a prostitute, or the land will turn to prostitution and be filled with wickedness.

(Deu 23:17-18 NIV) No Israelite man or woman is to become a shrine prostitute. {18} You must not bring the earnings of a female prostitute or of a male prostitute into the house of the LORD your God to pay any vow, because the LORD your God detests them both.

Lev 19:20 "'If a man sleeps with a woman who is a slave girl promised to another man but who has not been ransomed or given her freedom, there must be due punishment. Yet they are not to be put to death, because she had not been freed.

Further the virgins would mostly be too young to have sex anyway, those old enough to have sex would have been married. The commands regarding (adult) women captives are quite modern for Bronze Age ANE people.

(Deu 21:10-14 NIV) When you go to war against your enemies and the LORD your God delivers them into your hands and you take captives, {11} if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife. {12} Bring her into your home and have her shave her head, trim her nails {13} and put aside the clothes she was wearing when captured. After she has lived in your house and mourned her father and mother for a full month, then you may go to her and be her husband and she shall be your wife. {14} If you are not pleased with her, let her go wherever she wishes. You must not sell her or treat her as a slave, since you have dishonored her.

What happened to the young women?

(Num 31:25-30 NIV) The LORD said to Moses, {26} "You and Eleazar the priest and the family heads of the community are to count all the people and animals that were captured. {27} Divide the spoils between the soldiers who took part in the battle and the rest of the community. {28} From the soldiers who fought in the battle, set apart as tribute for the LORD one out of every five hundred, whether persons, cattle, donkeys, sheep or goats. {29} Take this tribute from their half share and give it to Eleazar the priest as the Lord's part. {30} From the Israelites' half, select one out of every fifty, whether persons, cattle, donkeys, sheep, goats or other animals. Give them to the Levites, who are responsible for the care of the Lord's tabernacle."

(Num 31:32-54 NIV) The plunder remaining from the spoils that the soldiers took was 675,000 sheep, {33} 72,000 cattle, {34} 61,000 donkeys {35} and 32,000 women who had never slept with a man. {36} The half share of those who fought in the battle was: 337,500 sheep, {37} of which the tribute for the LORD was 675; {38} 36,000 cattle, of which the tribute for the LORD was 72; {39} 30,500 donkeys, of which the tribute for the LORD was 61; {40} 16,000 people, of which the tribute for the LORD was 32. {41} Moses gave the tribute to Eleazar the priest as the Lord's part, as the LORD commanded Moses. {42} The half belonging to the Israelites, which Moses set apart from that of the fighting men-- {43} the community's half--was 337,500 sheep, {44} 36,000 cattle, {45} 30,500 donkeys {46} and 16,000 people. {47} From the Israelites' half, Moses selected one out of every fifty persons and animals, as the LORD commanded him, and gave them to the Levites, who were responsible for the care of the Lord's tabernacle. {48} Then the officers who were over the units of the army--the commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds--went to Moses {49} and said to him, "Your servants have counted the soldiers under our command, and not one is missing. {50} So we have brought as an offering to the LORD the gold articles each of us acquired--armlets, bracelets, signet rings, earrings and necklaces--to make atonement for ourselves before the LORD." {51} Moses and Eleazar the priest accepted from them the gold--all the crafted articles. {52} All the gold from the commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds that Moses and Eleazar presented as a gift to the LORD weighed 16,750 shekels. {53} Each soldier had taken plunder for himself. {54} Moses and Eleazar the priest accepted the gold from the commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds and brought it into the Tent of Meeting as a memorial for the Israelites before the LORD.

So the 12,000 soldiers get 15,968 girls, just over one per family and the remaining 16,000 are distributed among the community, the Levites getting 320 of these girls. Some suggest that the female prisoners were used as sacrifices to the Lord on the basis of the KJV which says:

(Num 31:28-29 KJV) And levy a tribute unto the LORD of the men of war which went out to battle: one soul of five hundred, both of the persons, and of the beeves, and of the asses, and of the sheep: {29} Take it of their half, and give it unto Eleazar the priest, for an heave offering of the LORD.

However there is no evidence that the heave offering ever included human sacrifice. Child sacrifice was against the Law.

(Lev 18:21 NIV) "'Do not give any of your children to be sacrificed to Molech, for you must not profane the name of your God. I am the LORD.

(Lev 20:2-4 NIV) "Say to the Israelites: 'Any Israelite or any alien living in Israel who gives any of his children to Molech must be put to death. The people of the community are to stone him. {3} I will set my face against that man and I will cut him off from his people; for by giving his children to Molech, he has defiled my sanctuary and profaned my holy name. {4} If the people of the community close their eyes when that man gives one of his children to Molech and they fail to put him to death,

Rules of war:

(Deu 20:10-19 NIV) When you march up to attack a city, make its people an offer of peace. {11} If they accept and open their gates, all the people in it shall be subject to forced labor and shall work for you. {12} If they refuse to make peace and they engage you in battle, lay siege to that city. {13} When the LORD your God delivers it into your hand, put to the sword all the men in it. {14} As for the women, the children, the livestock and everything else in the city, you may take these as plunder for yourselves. And you may use the plunder the LORD your God gives you from your enemies. {15} This is how you are to treat all the cities that are at a distance from you and do not belong to the nations nearby. {16} However, in the cities of the nations the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance, do not leave alive anything that breathes. {17} Completely destroy them--the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites--as the LORD your God has commanded you. {18} Otherwise, they will teach you to follow all the detestable things they do in worshiping their gods, and you will sin against the LORD your God. {19} When you lay siege to a city for a long time, fighting against it to capture it, do not destroy its trees by putting an ax to them, because you can eat their fruit. Do not cut them down. Are the trees of the field people, that you should besiege them?

(Gen 34:25-29 NIV) Three days later, while all of them were still in pain, two of Jacob's sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah's brothers, took their swords and attacked the unsuspecting city, killing every male. {26} They put Hamor and his son Shechem to the sword and took Dinah from Shechem's house and left. {27} The sons of Jacob came upon the dead bodies and looted the city where their sister had been defiled. {28} They seized their flocks and herds and donkeys and everything else of theirs in the city and out in the fields. {29} They carried off all their wealth and all their women and children, taking as plunder everything in the houses.

Summary:

For the relevant background see Num 22, 23, 24, Num 25:1-3, and Gen 15:16
The Midianites were half brothers to the Israelites and were on friendly terms
Midianite leaders join with Moab to incite against Israel # Nu 22:4. The Midian princes had also allied with Sihon king of the Amorites (Josh 13:21)
Midianite leaders together with the Moabite leaders: Sent for Balaam to curse Israel # Nu 22:5-7, God would not curse but would only bless Israel.
Moabites and Midianites seduced Israel to idolatry and immorality # Nu 25:1-18 as a means to get God to judge his own people.
God first judged his own people severely and 24,000 died
The reason for killing the Midianites was given in Num 25:17-18, "because they treated you as enemies".
The reason for killing the women is given in Num 31:15-16, they seduced the men into idolatry and immorality resulting in a plague in which 24,000 died.
As for the boys they would have died anyway because there would be no one to look after them. Given the option of a slow death from hunger and thirst, clearly God chose the merciful option of a quick death. Had he allowed them to live among the Israelites they would take revenge later when they became men. If you're going to do the job do it right. The Moabites would probably have used the boys for child sacrifice (by fire) as was their practice.
He was clearly merciful to the 32,000 virgin girls, after all he spared their lives.
Our text says nothing about slave-whores? See Deu 21:11
Prostitution was against the law
In the context of ancient Near East (ANE) bronze-age culture of ~1500 BC it was either the fledgling nation of Israel or the Midianites. The future of God's chosen people was at stake.
Evidently they did not kill ALL the Midianites because they remained a thorn in the side, see Judg 7:12 etc etc.
Further we should note that the God who gives life has the right to take it (Job 1:21).

The bottom line is that the Midianites were on friendly terms with the Israelites but the leaders joined with those who wanted to destroy Israel and treated them as enemies. The children suffered because of bad decisions made by the parents. Something common to all life.

EBC - Expositors Bible Commentary.

See also Glenn Miller's more detailed piece on What about God’s cruelty against the Midianites?

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